Monday, September 15, 2008

Weight loss....

O.k. I think I am finally ready. Ready to start losing again that is. I have really debated on talking about this on my blog because some of the readers are people I know in everyday life. So this is kinda embarrassing, but then I thought, well they see me so they know that I have put on a few pounds. More than a few....gosh, I don't know if I wanna say it.

O.k., I am in tears right now. This was my biggest fear. You have to know the whole story so I'll start from the beginning.

About 2 1\2 years ago I decided that I was finally ready to lose weight. I was very big, obese by any doctors standards. I had always been big but I finally decided enough was enough. I joined weight watchers online and followed everything to the T. The weight started falling off of me like crazy. I followed the plan, exercised occasionally and before I knew it in a little over a year had lost 118 pounds. I couldn't have been happier with myself, everyone couldn't believe it. Always people commented on how great I looked, I kinda like the attention honestly. I had never had that before.

Then my husband and I decided that we wanted to have another baby. I was so excited because I had wanted that for a long time, and he always said 2 was enough, and finally he changed his mind. I was very concerned though about gaining weight. I had worked so hard and finally was at a size that I was comfortable with. But everyone said just keep eating healthy and I wouldn't gain to much. Well they were probably right, but I had denied myself sweets and all they yummy foods for so long that I used pregnancy as an excuse to eat like a crazy person. I put on 60 pounds. Awful!!

After the birth of my daughter I lost 20 of those lbs. fairly quickly. Then somehow over the past 8 months, 10 of those pounds have found there way back onto me. So I need to lose 50 pounds to get back to where I was.

I know that when family and friends see me they are probaly wondering what happened or they are thinking that they knew I would gain the weight back. I don't want them thinking that. No one had said anything but I can see it in peoples eyes. I hate it!!! I am ashamed:(

I know its going to be a lot harder this time because I have tried a couple of times to kinda watch what I'm eating and nothing has happened, so I think I'm really going to have to be conscious of everything that goes into my mouth, and I am probably going to have to exercise. That's going to be the hard part, cause I dont know when I will have the time but I guess I will need to make the time.

At the moment I can not afford to buy all the diet food and such, so I am going to really watch my portion size and try to stop eating when I feel full. That's a hard one for me. I will try to also fill my plate with more veggies than the other foods, and limit my sugar intake.

I weighed myself this morning so am starting today. I will post at least once a week and let everyone know how I am doing. Wish me luck. I should be able to lose 2 pounds this first week pretty easily. I am also going to make it my goal to exercise at least 3 times this week. Wish me luck!!!!

Oh, my inspiration for all this is from Tereza, she is on a mission to lose wight too.


Anonymous said...

I wish everyone wasn't so hung up on their looks. Be happy with who you are on he inside. You have great qualities. Focus on those. :)

Now as for food. Whole grains, fruits & veggies, lots of water, healty snacks..blah, blah, blah. You know the routine. :) Good luck!


Jaime said...

Jill you are beautiful. On the inside and out. I will pray for you as you begin your weight loss journey. Just remember that what you are going for is healthy. Not what everyone else thinks looks good. This, of course, is coming from someone who needs to lose...too many pounds to mention here. Good Luck!

Aimee Kieffer, aka "Momzoo" said...

OH wow, 118 pounds, you are my hero, seriously!

You can do this weightloss thing again, really you can. I did almost the same thing, lost a bunch then got pregnant and gaining most of it back!

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