Weight loss....

O.k. I think I am finally ready. Ready to start losing again that is. I have really debated on talking about this on my blog because some of the readers are people I know in everyday life. So this is kinda embarrassing, but then I thought, well they see me so they know that I have put on a few pounds. More than a few....gosh, I don't know if I wanna say it.



O.k., I am in tears right now. This was my biggest fear. You have to know the whole story so I'll start from the beginning.



About 2 1\2 years ago I decided that I was finally ready to lose weight. I was very big, obese by any doctors standards. I had always been big but I finally decided enough was enough. I joined weight watchers online and followed everything to the T. The weight started falling off of me like crazy. I followed the plan, exercised occasionally and before I knew it in a little over a year had lost 118 pounds. I couldn't have been happier with myself, everyone couldn't believe it. Always people commented on how great I looked, I kinda like the attention honestly. I had never had that before.



Then my husband and I decided that we wanted to have another baby. I was so excited because I had wanted that for a long time, and he always said 2 was enough, and finally he changed his mind. I was very concerned though about gaining weight. I had worked so hard and finally was at a size that I was comfortable with. But everyone said just keep eating healthy and I wouldn't gain to much. Well they were probably right, but I had denied myself sweets and all they yummy foods for so long that I used pregnancy as an excuse to eat like a crazy person. I put on 60 pounds. Awful!!



After the birth of my daughter I lost 20 of those lbs. fairly quickly. Then somehow over the past 8 months, 10 of those pounds have found there way back onto me. So I need to lose 50 pounds to get back to where I was.

I know that when family and friends see me they are probaly wondering what happened or they are thinking that they knew I would gain the weight back. I don't want them thinking that. No one had said anything but I can see it in peoples eyes. I hate it!!! I am ashamed:(

I know its going to be a lot harder this time because I have tried a couple of times to kinda watch what I'm eating and nothing has happened, so I think I'm really going to have to be conscious of everything that goes into my mouth, and I am probably going to have to exercise. That's going to be the hard part, cause I dont know when I will have the time but I guess I will need to make the time.



At the moment I can not afford to buy all the diet food and such, so I am going to really watch my portion size and try to stop eating when I feel full. That's a hard one for me. I will try to also fill my plate with more veggies than the other foods, and limit my sugar intake.



I weighed myself this morning so am starting today. I will post at least once a week and let everyone know how I am doing. Wish me luck. I should be able to lose 2 pounds this first week pretty easily. I am also going to make it my goal to exercise at least 3 times this week. Wish me luck!!!!



Oh, my inspiration for all this is from Tereza, she is on a mission to lose wight too.