Just being me...

I've had a realization over the last few weeks.  I think I've spent my entire life trying to imitate others lives.  This has happened especially since I've discovered the blogging community.  I read other blogs and try to be like them.  I ask questions when a lot of the time I already know the answer, but I think they must have a better way and if their way is different and I try to do it that way and it doesnt work I feel like I've failed.    I love reading blogs and will probably never stop but I need ot read them for ideas.  Then take those ideas and make them work for me and my family/situation.  No two families are exactly alike,, we all have different amount of kids, ages of kids, different seasons of life, different budgets.  What works for one might not work for the other,, but I also think its great to explore different ways of doing things and turn that into what works best for me.  I have learned so much over the Internet.  There is such a wealth of knowledge out there!  I didnt even know that homemade laundry detergent existed before, plus I've learned so many ways to cut back and be frugal, make new things in the kitchen and out. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is read, learn and explore, and then take the ideas and make them work for you.  Don't ever feel bad for not being able to do things exactly like someone else.  Enjoy  YOUR life, and YOUR  family and do whats best for YOUR situation.     Love and hugs to all you mamas out there, remember all over this world there are people like us struggling with a lot of the same things that you are going through. 

What if

So I'm sitting here thinking of life and all the what if's that come with it.  I do that quite often, which is really a bad thing for me, it causes me a lot of stress because I think of all the bad what ifs.....right now my what if's are this:
What if we get this bad snow storm everyone says is coming?  What if we get snowed in?  What if we lose power?  What if our water line freezes up?  What if we have to live like pioneers for the next few days?

Honestly the snow storm doesn't bother me,,, getting snowed in doesn't bother me,,,living like pioneers wouldn't bother me accept I don't feel we are equipped to live like that right now.  We have a gas furnace but it won't run without electricity to circulate the air so we'd b very cold.   And we now have a electric stove so I couldn't cook anything.  I think we'd b okay if we had a gas stove and some sort of fireplace or other thing to heat us up,,,that might actually b kinda fun, but without those 2 things we might freeze and starve.LOL   No, I don't think we'd starve but our food options would b quite limited.  :)

School was canceled today.  I think they could have made it to school but maybe they were worried about the kiddos getting snowed in there or something.  So far there is no new precipitation going on outside,, we do have a blizzard warning though.  We will see!

Thoughtful Thursday--"Food Matters"

Well here it is,, Thursday again already!,, That means 8 days til we leave for our 2 week vacation!  Woo HOO! 
Today's thoughts are about food and nutrition.  Yesterday I watched the movie called Food Matters.  It is a documentary and I enjoyed it.  In the past I have also watched Food Inc,,, which is another great one.  These movies can really open up your eyes to what we are putting in our bodies.  There is a lot of talk in these movies about organic food.  Now, I 100% totally understand and agree with buying/eating organic.  I want to do it for myself, my children, and the farmers that take the time to do it right.  The only thing stopping me from buying organic is the ridiculous cost of these items.  My food budget is already so tight,, I go to the store and stand in the  produce section and look at the fruits/veggies with great intentions of buying the organic ones and I just can not bring myself to put the so much higher priced item in the cart.  So I don't then I go home feeling guilty.  It tears at my heart and makes me feel like a bad parent,, especially when I know others that do buy mostly organic stuff.  But I can only do what I can, so I have a plan.  I am going to do the best I can with what I have and can do.  Food Matters, talks a lot about vitamin's, so I am going to start taking them regularly,, last night I went out and got a multivitamin, some calcium chews, and some b12(that said it is supposed to help give energy and boost metabolism.   My only problem is standing in front of the big isle of vitamins can be very intimidating,,, I don't know what I need and not sure if I can take to much of something.  so Im just gonna start out small with this and try to keep gaining more knowledge about it.  I already give the kids a vitamin every day so I will continue with that.  I am trying to talk Ben into taking some vitamins but he is a worthless cause.....he could care less about his health.    

I am going to try and cut out most of the processed junk that we eat,, that is the hard part with the kids. and keep introducing a variety of healthy foods.  If my budget allows I will keep slowly switching to organic on some items. I plan to do another bigger garden this summer and put up as much food as possible.  Drink more water and healthy juices.   I am hoping that for myself I might get a little weight loss that comes with this.  I've given up on the diets, I just wanna be healthy and comfortable.  I am hoping maybe with the vitamins it will give my body some more energy,, I've been dragging something fierce lately.  This is also what I hope for Ben, but he is just so negative about everything,, I don't know what to do about him. 
So there you have it.  I highly recommend this movie,, if you have netflix it is streaming on it now.  Do you guys feel you and your family are following  healthy guidelines?  Do you buy organic?  Any recommendations for me about vitamins?

Then and Now..11 years later

This is our wedding picture from October 22, 1999.

And this one is of us on Saturday, October 23, 2010!     Bennie's hair went from his head to his face.LOL  I think he is much cuter now! 

Oh how the time just flies by.  I can not believe its been 11 years that we have been married.  It is something I''m very proud of.  All to often in today's world I think couples view marriage as just a piece of paper that can be throw out with the garbage.  Yes I'll be the first to say marriage is HARD, very hard!  But with a little faith and a LOT of compromise I think couples can work through most things in a marriage.   My best advise I guess would be to not sweat the small stuff and pick you battles.  The last being very important.  Honestly Bennie aggravates me at least 20 times a day but I choose to let things slide by.  NO one is happy arguing and fighting all the time.  It's miserable for us and defiantly miserable for the children.  It's taken me most of our marriage to realize these things.  I have grown and learned so much just in the past year.   Another thing I would say, at least in my marriage is guys will be guys.  They are like little boys hidden inside a grown mans body.  The like there toys and hobbies and they defiantly have fears... Not all men will admit to those fears outloud, but a lot of times they are dealing with them on the inside and we wives have to realize that.  Men need to feel loved and appreciated.  If I can show him these things our life is just better because he feels better about himself and things and therefore shows me more love!

We celebrated Saturday night by going to our same restaurant as always on our anniversary,, Red Lobster! YUMMY!  We joked while there about if we will still go there when were 80,,,, walking in with our canes and grey hair excited about shrimp fest! LOL   We had so much fun.  Without the stress of the kids along with us things just flow better.   Every couple needs to get alone time every once in a while.  We also went to a couple stores that we dont get to very often, then came home relaxed and watched a movie.  Nothing to exciting, but we were together and enjoyed each others company, so it was a wonderful night for me!    Here's to many many more years together!

Calgon take me away.....

Sometimes I think I should change my name,,,,,change it from MOM to DAD.....lol,,,,life around the house would be so much easier.  That's because whenever something goes wrong,,like God forbid someone looks at another the wrong way,,,or someone gets hurt,, or someones hungry, or something needs to be cleaned, when they say MMOOOOMMM I could just sit there and watch t.v. with my feet propped up and ignore it all.  You never hear them yell dad,,,its always mom!     Why?   

Sorry, I'm just a little grumpy and tired and in pain.  I was sick on Monday and Tuesday plus I've did something to my back and it hurts pretty bad.  It doesn't make a difference though cause this house doesn't clean itself and dinner doesn't cook itself. OH well.    Sometimes I just wanna run away...not forever, I could never live without my babies,, but just for a little while.  I really wonder what would happen,,,would the house fall apart?  Would the kids run around dirty filthy, and hungry?  I can just imagine the laundry piled up the the ceiling because if at least 2 loads don't get done everyday that's what will happen. Oh the horror just to imagine!!!  I didn't do much for 24 hours due to how I was feeling and you shoulda seen the house then! 
So am I a terrible mother for wanting to run away sometimes?   Anyone else ever feel like this?

Use what you've got

The other day we ran out of shower gel. It was the middle of the week so I was hoping to not have to run to the store so I decided to check the cabinets to see what we had. OH MY, I found lots of little trial sized shower gels. Jackpot! Then that got me thinking.......I wonder how many duplicates I have of some items. After looking around the house I decided I have a overabundance of things and I need to stop buying them until I actually run out of that particular item! Doing this will help me free up some space and save some money!

I took a little inventory of items and made out a list,, here it is:

Hygiene:
-lots of little sized shower gels,,,none bought buy me,,, most were given as gifts or just given to us by family not wanting them any more.
-lots of body lotion!
-3/4 gallon jug of hand soap refill, bought at Sam's Club

Laundry:
-around 2 cups homemade powder laundry det.
-1/2 full big bucket powdered Wind Fresh laundry det. from Sam's Club
3/4 container Wisk liquid laundry det.
-Big container Downey fabric softer, just recently bought from Sam's Club

Now I know what your thinking....who has 3 different open containers of laundry soap??? Well,,, me, lol, I have a little obsession with laundry and various smells and seeing how cheap I can go with it still working good. I love Tide but hate the price tag. I have had mixed results with the homemade soap. I think my main problem is it not having a smell to it,, that's the same thing with the super cheap WindFresh I bought from Sam's,, so I decided when I use the cheap-o soap I just need to use a good smelling fabric softener to be happy. I'm going to finish off all of these detergents and then try the liquid homemade version I think. :)

Air Fresheners:
1/4 bottle Febreze Downey Fabric Refresher
3/4 bottle Febreze Hawaiian Aloha air refresher
1/4 bottle Glade Cinnamon
*like I said,m I'm obsessed with smells

Cleaning Products:

Furniture Polish:
1/4 bottle Great Value polish
1/4 bottle orange glow almond polish
1/8 bottle Murphy's oil soap wood cleaner

Windex:
1/4 bottle

All purposecleaner:
1/2 bottle arm and hammer essentials

Toilet bowl cleaner:
1/2 bottle The Works

Bathroom/Tub cleaner:
-1and 1/2 bottles Comet
-Full Kaboom Foamtastic
-1/4 bottle soft scrub deep clean
-1/4 bottle the Works tub and shower cleaner
*that's a little embarrassing, lol, to my defense I am constantly trying new products because with Ben working at Dalton's the dirt and grim that comes off his body when he comes home and shower is disgusting and very hard on our bathtub!

And last but not least I have something from shaklee, its called Basic H . Almost a full bottle and u dilute it when you use it.. It would probably last me a year or more!!!

So as you can see I have a LOT! I am making a vow to not buy another one of these things until I am down to my last bottle and its empty! It might be awhile before I ever have to buy a cleaning product. so is this normal? Do you have a lot of cleaners around your house? Do you want to use it before you buy like me?

Our weekend and a marriage breakthrough

We all had a very enjoyable weekend! No dunes trips though, even though the kids asked to go again. The weather was to chilly I thought for swimming in Lake Michigan. Saturday my Dad and Merry spent some time with the kids while Ben and I went golfing. It was very windy and cold and I had the worst day of golf in my life. It was still nice and fun to get out though. Then after dad's we stopped by mom's house. We call that killing 2 birds with one stone,,, getting our visiting done in one day. :)



Sunday we hung out around the house, I went grocery shopping at Alidi's and saw they had the fire pit we've been wanting for 2 years there. I called Ben and we decided to splurge and get it. Well worth it in my opinion. Sunday evening we got it going and ate smores, sat around the fire, drank and told stories from our youth. HaHa. Poor Gary got to hear all kinds of stories from when Ben was growing up and all the trouble him and his brothers used to get into. Jess missed out cause she spent the night at nana's house. We stayed out there til around eleven! Emma lasted til around ten then told me she was ready to go to sleep so I brang her in and put her into bed. It was great and I hope we can do it again this weekend!

Those are some pics from my phone. Remember my cameras broke :( :( :( I sure am missing it.

Monday was Labor day so both Ben and I had the day off! He got a lot accomplished. He fixed some air vents under the house, replaced some screens in the windows, and mowed the grass. All without me asking him too!

I've had a realization over the last week, and after following it our house has made a turn around! While I know as far as our marriage goes, I'm not the only problem,, but I was part of the problem. My husband feels hated by me and feels that I think everything he does is wrong. That's no good. Can you imagine feeling like that? NO wonder he has no desire to please me when he feels like its not going to matter to me anyhow. I did some research on being a wife and looked into some biblical scripture. I found this to be very helpful to me http://www.gotquestions.org/roles-husband-wife-family.html and this http://www.bibleriches.org/2002/marriage1.html#wife

I am making a concisence decision to be a submissive wife now. He is the leader of our household. I am a stay at home mom and he is the breadwinner. He should make the final decisions in matters. Don't get me wrong, if he is making a destructive decision you'd better believe I'll be stepping in, but for the most part he is the leader and I told him that this weekend. He needs to feel like "the man",, and he needs to feel loved and respected. That is just the way it is and as long as he's being a good father/husband/provider, then I will follow him. I am not a doormat, but I am his wife and it is my job to make him feel loved and respected.

Anywho....things have been going great since I've realized this.

Ben starts his bowling league tonight. I've got a whole chicken in the crockpot roasting,,, it smells so good! Then later this week we will have homemade chicken and noodles again! The family was very excited to hear that!

A link

I read something this morning that REALLY hit home with me. This is just what I needed to hear and it really made me think. All of us moms need to remember this when things get us down. We really dont have it so bad and we most of us are so lucky to have the lives we have! Here is the link for you.. enjoy
http://amysfinerthings.com/somebody-wants-what-you-have

I am so thankful for the people I have in my life!

Because I love them

I've been doing a lot of thinking and "soul searching" lately. I am reading this book right now called "the virtuous woman". I am finding it quiet interesting.

I've realized that I let my happiness depend way to much on others. And by doing that I am putting to much pressure on those I love around me. Here is an example: I really do try to do what is right with my family. I try to make things from scratch, stretch money, keep up with laundry and household duties, do little things that I think will make them happy. Now, while this is great, the problem is in my mind I think that they should react in a certain way and when they don't I get upset and sometimes then take it out on them. That is what I am going to try and stop. Does an 8 year old really care that his mom has spent all day in the heat of the kitchen making homemade goodies from scratch because we cant afford to go out and buy them at the store, but I still want him to have snacks to eat....NO............should he ...........probably not.
Don't get me wrong,,,,, everyone is happy about getting to eat the snacks,,, I guess in my mind its just not appreciated.....But you know what? That's okay..............I am not doing it to gain his love or approval. I am doing it because I love him.... Same thing goes with everyone else in the household.

I do things because I love my family. I know they love me to.

AS I type I have a homemade strawberry crumb cake cooling on the stove because hubby wanted me to bake something with the strawberries we got at the store, and even though it feels like 100 degrees outside I made him something because I love him! I don't expect anything in return.... just knowing that it is gonna make him happy is good enough for me. And even if he doesn't show his thankfulness, I am going to let it slide, because I didn't do it for him to be happy with me, I did it because I love him!

Tuesday

I had a full house for a little while this morning. It was 7 of them against one of me!! :) NO, I'm joking,, they were all great! A little noisy but every kid here was is a great kid so it wasn't bad at all.
This week is creeping by slowly. I'm ready for Friday already!! I just found out Ben has the week off next week so that should be nice having him home with us. As far as child care kids it should just be Bree here so that wont be to bad. Its to bad we don't have any extra cash we could do something,, I'm sure we can find some free stuff to do around here though. We will make it fun! That's the attitude I'm trying to have now,,, life is all of what you make it,,, you can have a bad attitude and a crappy time,, or have a good attitude and have a great time! I have a nice home, 3 awsome kids, and a pretty great husband! I cant ask for much more than that!

Stuff

Stuff....clutter....crap.. there's lot of words for it and I have come to realize that I have way to much of it!!!! How much stuff does a family really need? Why do we think we need so much?

It really is ridiculous!!! We are having a garage sale next Sat., and so I've been going through things, cleaning and organizing, and getting MAD!! It makes it hard to clean things when there is stuff on everything! Sometimes I long for the days when Ben and I first got together and had hardly anything. Honestly, when we moved into our first house there wasn't even a stove, and we didn't have the money to buy one so we did without. It actually didn't even bother us that much because back then we just ate junk and I never really cooked anyways, we also didn't have a kitchen table. So needless to say, we didn't have a lot of extra crap laying around the house cluttering up things........................... now don't get me wrong, I'd much rather be in the situation that I am now, but there is a happy medium I think. Somewhere there is a point where its just enough. I am sure that that point is different for each family, for example, I have 3 kids, so the stuff needed in my house would obviously be different than say for example, my sisters house who will just have herself and her husband in it.

My point I guess is that I am on a mission to find out what I really need, and what is just cluttering up everything. And also I need to figure out the best place to store the things that I really need due to lack of space. It's bothering me so much today that I am debating on if I really even want/need to go to the big set of garage sales that I am planning on going to this weekend. Will I just be bringing in someone elses junk that I don't need? There are things that I do need for my kids though..... UUggghhhh,, I don't know what to do.

People just remember that STUFF doesn't make us happy!!!

Menu plan and our Sunday

This weeks menu will go as follows:
Sunday-waffles
beer and cheddar brats, fries, macaroni salad, cantaloupe
Weekday meals:
BBQ chicken, green beans, chips,
open faced quesidiellas, guacamole and chips
spaghetti Alfredo, garlic bread
Swiss steak, mashed taters, buttery rolls
pizza

Saturday: steak on grill, baked taters, corn and salad

Yesterday I made a huge batch of homemade waffles and they were so yummy, since it made so much we had enough to put into the freezer! The kids wanted to try them out this morning so I took them out of the freezer and popped them into the toaster,, they tasted just like yesterday, but with the ease of a Eggo! Awesome! Now we've got breakfast burritos and waffles in the freezer.

It was so nice outside yesterday we grilled out and the kids really wanted to eat outside. My first instinct was to say no,, but then thought,, its not really gonna hurt anything so we did it! They loved it and it really wasn't any harder than setting the table inside:)

I think all to often I just say no when they request things and I am really trying to work on that. I don't want to be a "no mom", I want to be a "yes" mom. Obviously some things need to be said no to, but most of the time what they are asking for isn't that much more work and its just something simple that would make them so happy. An example is the other day we brang out all the pillows and blankets and watched a movie on the living room floor together. It thrilled them! It was like a little slumber party in the living room.

Overall we had a pretty good weekend. And here's to a even better week ahead!

Saturday stuff

Well here I am. Its Saturday night and I'm just relaxing. Ben is asleep in the recliner,,(has been for about 3 hours now), its 9:30pm, which means he is probably out for the night. He has had a long first week back to work and he is exhausted!

i had to take Gary to the dentist this morning in Ft.Wayne and since Ben had to work I was freaked out about driving up there by myself ( I hate driving,, especially there! ) but.......my awesome friend Stephanie helped me out and took a little roady with me up there so I wasn't so lonely. (Thank you again by the way!). It was so nice to just talk. We don't see each other all that often, so it was hilarious cause we were like two teenage girls just jabbering on, switching back and forth from one subject to the next, then realizing we never finished what we were saying and going back to the last subject. Honestly it was exactly what I needed after my awful week, and it made me realize I really need to have a little girl talk every now and then,, the main person I talk to is my husband, which is great,,, but its not the same as talking to one of you "girlfriends". So the day I worried about all week turned out wonderful!

Once I got back home Emma took an nap then we went over to a local park,,(like 5 min away) and let the kids play and Ben and Gary threw their fishing poles out a couple of times. We didn't stay long cause Emma isn't feeling the greatest. She had fun though.

All in all it was a pretty nice day. I was able to talk out some of my frustrations and relax. And I realized just because I dont see or talk to my friends everyday,, I still have some great ones!

Wednesday ramblings

Has anyone watched fireproof, the movie yet? I rented it last night and even got my hubby to watch it with me. It was good. I t defiantly makes you think about things. I was really happy that he watched it with me because when I told him about it he said it sounded "like a dumb drama"...........I told him it would really mean a lot if he would give a try and he did. Once it got over it was time for him to leave for work so we didn't get to talk about it much but before he left he gave me a hug and told me he loved me then asked if I really thought our marriage was that bad.... I said no not at all and then he was happy. i think he was scared I wanted to watch the movie because our marriage was in the same spot as the couples on the movie. Heavens no, but I do think it wouldn't hurt either one of us to try a little harder sometimes. Every marriage has room for improvement right? Later he text me from work and said he really enjoyed the movie and would do anything to stay with me forever! :) He can be so sweet sometimes.

Monday I took Emma to the doctor for her 1 year check up. Everything went well. She weighs 28 pounds and is 31 inches long. She was perfect accept for her crazy sensitive skin. Shes always getting these little rashes and things. Poor thing hopefully she will grow out of that.

The kids are home from school today. Snow day,,,,, they will be going all summer if it keeps this up. Today I am taking dinner over to my neighbor, she had a baby a few days ago. I am going to take her cavatini and garlic bread! She and her husband are great neighbors so I want to do anything I can to help her out. Plus I will get to see the new baby...so exciting. Its hard to believe it was just a little over a year ago I was in that same situation.

Everyone make a great day!

Thankful

I have this overwhelming feeling of thankfulness right now for some reason. This morning was kinda rocky, there was a two hour delay so all the big kids were here and I was yelling way to much! I hate when I do that. I just get upset because I feel like they are constantly running around making messes and not cleaning them up, and I guess my way of thinking is they are big enough to clean it up but they don't so then I get angry. I need to remember that they are just kids, and right now it is their job to have fun and play and learn. I need to remind myself to just relax. The world will not end because there are stuffed animals laying in the hallway pretending to be pumpkins waiting to be picked. And the stacks of books all laying out in my sons floor are there because his room has been transformed into a library for the time being. And the piece of paper that has been taped to his door with my tape that is now lost because he lost it is there because last week his room was Walmart. (the sign says "Come in to Walmart, its a great place to be".
Now that they are gone I realize that I need to be thankful that my children have these great imaginations! So many things could come from that! And I am thankful that we are blessed to be able to provide the with these things they are playing with. I am so thankful that I have this warm cozy house to sit in when it is freezing outside and some people have no where to go to to get warm.
When my kids walk in the door from school today I will give them a huge hug and tell them how much I love them! And since its Wednesday that means we will be having our hot chocolate date since daddy is bowling and I will explain to them that I am sorry for getting upset and once again tell them how much I love them. Have a super day and remember to be thankful!

God's Coffee

This article was in the new hillbilly housewife's newsletter. I really liked it and wanted to share it with you.


GOD’S COFFEE
Author Unknown
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, someexpensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:
“If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.
Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.
What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups… And then you began eyeing each other’s cups.
Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live.
Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us.”
God brews the coffee, not the cups………. Enjoy your coffee!
“The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.”
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Makes you think doesn't it? We concentrate so much on looking good having the best of everything and worring about what others think. We need to all remember what matters most!!