Because I love them

I've been doing a lot of thinking and "soul searching" lately. I am reading this book right now called "the virtuous woman". I am finding it quiet interesting.

I've realized that I let my happiness depend way to much on others. And by doing that I am putting to much pressure on those I love around me. Here is an example: I really do try to do what is right with my family. I try to make things from scratch, stretch money, keep up with laundry and household duties, do little things that I think will make them happy. Now, while this is great, the problem is in my mind I think that they should react in a certain way and when they don't I get upset and sometimes then take it out on them. That is what I am going to try and stop. Does an 8 year old really care that his mom has spent all day in the heat of the kitchen making homemade goodies from scratch because we cant afford to go out and buy them at the store, but I still want him to have snacks to eat....NO............should he ...........probably not.
Don't get me wrong,,,,, everyone is happy about getting to eat the snacks,,, I guess in my mind its just not appreciated.....But you know what? That's okay..............I am not doing it to gain his love or approval. I am doing it because I love him.... Same thing goes with everyone else in the household.

I do things because I love my family. I know they love me to.

AS I type I have a homemade strawberry crumb cake cooling on the stove because hubby wanted me to bake something with the strawberries we got at the store, and even though it feels like 100 degrees outside I made him something because I love him! I don't expect anything in return.... just knowing that it is gonna make him happy is good enough for me. And even if he doesn't show his thankfulness, I am going to let it slide, because I didn't do it for him to be happy with me, I did it because I love him!

Tuesday

I had a full house for a little while this morning. It was 7 of them against one of me!! :) NO, I'm joking,, they were all great! A little noisy but every kid here was is a great kid so it wasn't bad at all.
This week is creeping by slowly. I'm ready for Friday already!! I just found out Ben has the week off next week so that should be nice having him home with us. As far as child care kids it should just be Bree here so that wont be to bad. Its to bad we don't have any extra cash we could do something,, I'm sure we can find some free stuff to do around here though. We will make it fun! That's the attitude I'm trying to have now,,, life is all of what you make it,,, you can have a bad attitude and a crappy time,, or have a good attitude and have a great time! I have a nice home, 3 awsome kids, and a pretty great husband! I cant ask for much more than that!

Our wedding filled weekend

This weekend was my sisters wedding.... It was fun, Friday night was the rehearsal dinner here is Ben and I Me and Emma

My lovely self portrait

And here is my kids along with our cousins that were up from North Carolina,, oh and Mira to. Our cousins really are great, so is my uncle. He did all the cooking for the rehearsal dinner, we had pasta and he cooked up 3 different kinds of sauces to go along with the noodles. It was YUMMO!

And here are some pics from the big day. Here's my 3 kids,,, are they not the most beautiful things you have ever seen?

Here's Gary bustin a move!

Emma had a very rough night. She was very tired and overstimulated!

But she did get in some dancing a few times when she took a break from the whining. :)

It was a great fun and I wish my sister and new brother in-law all the luck in the world!

Random Randomness

Just thought I should pop in and write a little. Ive been busy lately with lots of things. Soccer has finally come to an end. Gary got a trophy ( first place team! ),, and Jess got a medal! Gary is so proud, it is his first trophy ever.
My youngest sister's wedding is this Saturday. Jess and Gary are kinda in it, they're in charge of the guest book and handing out programs. So we have family coming in. My step uncle is up from North Carolina and he has a daughter around Jess' age so they play together really well! She is coming over here later today and gonna hang out until Friday night after the rehearsal dinner. Then Saturday the wedding is at 6 :30. I've been working hard on a special present for them. I really hope they like it!
Also I'm gonna try to squeeze in a tiny garage sale with my neighbor Saturday morning. I'm not doing very well finding things for it though,,, I'm gonna work today on that. I don't think I have a lot to contribute but if we can make a little extra cash that would be awesome!!
Speaking of cash......,. I am totally bombing this no spend challenge :( I shouldn't have started it until after the wedding. We all needed to buy something to wear to the wedding, then the kids needed shoes to wear.... so needless to say cash has been disappearing around here like crazy. I've had to take money out of savings to cover it all and no extra has been going in yet...:(

After Saturday thought its crunch time!! We don't have a choice because we are going to try to get our house in our name,( its in my parents name now), and the time has come to get try and get our very own first home loan!! We pay for the house payment and all the expenses that come with home ownership right now,, its just all in their name, so we arnt getting credit for it.
So we might end up needing some sort of down payment and we need to have the money in the bank for that..... Whew...........Scary stuff!

Outdoor fun

Weekend overview

Wow, whata weekend! It went way to fast. Saturday was soccer games then in the evening I had my little sisters bachelorette party. I was a little nervous about going but it turned out really fun! She has some pictures up of it over on her blog. I didn't go out the the bar with them but I went to dinner and her apt. for a couple drinks and games. Brandy and I won the carve the male anatomy out of a cucumber game! Who knew we were such artist. :) lol

So today I was a pretty tired girl and Emma woke up early. She hasn't been feeling well this weekend, I'm not sure whats wrong with her, she just isn't herself. We went to my moms for lunch and for me to cut my step-dads hair. Then to Walmart to get the boys something to wear to the wedding next weekend. Wal-mart is not good for me when I'm trying to have no spend days. Unfortunately this weekend defiantly wasn't a no spend weekend. I don't have any excuses accept for it is really hard no to spend any money!!!

I'm pretty sleepy and hope to sleep well tonight. I gotta get up early in the morning for Mira to come. Here is hoping for a fantastic week ahead.

Tuesday

I am sad to say today was a spend day. And we had to take money out of the savings....:( It was a necessity though. Ben had a doctors appt. and then we had to get a prescription for him. Our checking was to low so we needed to transfer funds to cover the cost. Not exactly gonna help build the fund up, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Today went pretty fast, this morning we went to our local library and signed up for the summer reading program. They have prizes and lots of fun stuff for the kids to do, plus its all free! Then we went to our neighbors and played outside with them for a little bit. I have some of the best neighbors, they truly are great and we are blessed to have them in our lives! Then this evening I went and worked out at the Y! I never want to go, but once I get there and after I'm done I am so glad I went!

Hubby has to go into work tonight at 2 am! He is gonna be one sleepy boy tomorrow. the crappy thing is they are gonna send him home early so he wont get any overtime pay. :( That isn't allowed where he is working right now.

How is everyone doing that was gonna do the no spend challenge with me? Harder than you thought? NO difference?

Relay for Life

Here is the girls at Relay for Life. They sure liked playing in that ice. They were so cute in there little shirts. Emma walked a few laps with us too!

June menu

Tentative June menu: dinners

6-8
hamburger casserole
green beans

6-9
tacos
re fried beans
6-10
sirloin roast, flavored rice, peas
6-11
casserole made with leftover roast
6-12
lasagna soup
6-13
spaghetti(made by Ben),I will be at sisters bachelorette party
6-14
soup beans, cornbread
6-15
bean and cheese burritos on homemade tortillas
6-16
baked steak, potatoes, corn
6-17
biscuits and gravy
6-18
hot dogs, pepperoni pasta salad
6-19
rehearsal dinner
6-20
eat at wedding
6-21
hamburgers, french fries
6-22
crock pot steak, potatoes, corn
6-23
spaghetti and garlic bread
6-24
grilled chicken, flavored rice, asparagus
6-25
baked potato bar
6-26
homemade BBQ pizza
6-27
hamburger casserole

Of course any of this could change depending on whats ready in the garden or if there is a superb sale at the grocery store! Most of this is based on what I already have on hand or things that I know will be fairly cheap to buy!

I've had it. i just spent the last 2 hours fighting with my husband about money. Mainly about this no spend challenge, so I guess its off. It is impossible for do this by myself. What is the point of me suffering all week,, going without things, then the first chance he gets he runs to the bank and withdraws 20 bucks, without telling me!! I am trying to buy a whole weeks worth of groceries for 5 people,,,,, more when you count daycare kids,,,,, for 45 dollars.....(which buy the way didn't work out,,, it was impossible to get everything I needed for that and I was told if I didn't come home with everything on my list I would be in "trouble". I spent 65 total.

20 may seem like no big deal to some,, but when I'm trying so hard to spend so little, ...........It is a lot. :( I'm just so tired of it. We are like 2 different people and it scares me. We never resolve anything when we argue....he cant ever see my point.

I just don't see how I can do it, when he isn't on board with it. so I guess I will just try my hardest, and do what I can here and there. The problem is it makes me resent him,, when I'm doing things to save,, like only pennies on the dollar, and hes goes out and just blows money on things. What am I supposed to do? Obviously its not worth breaking up my marriage. Ugh.....

Then I found out that I will probably be losing yet another day care kid because the dad is changing shifts. whatever... I'm just about to give up. It seems the harder I try to make things work out, the worse it gets.

sorry about all the complaining. It really helps me to get it down into words though.

June 5 spending

Yesterday we went dress hunting. I found a really pretty one for half off and then I got 15% off of that with a coupon! So I ended up getting a $90 dress for $40. And I had already planned on getting it so that doesn't count in the no spend challenge. I had budgeted in more than that to buy the dress with so I also bought a shower curtain liner, it was only 3.99, and I needed it.

Tonight is probably the night that I'll go grocery shopping and see how far I can stretch that $45. Its not looking good. I'll let ya know how I do.

NO spend again!

Yay for me! I held strong and waited it out. I made my own BBQ sauce for the pizza last night and it was quite yummy! Didn't spend any money.

Shannon, as for your question about his/her money,,, no not really like that. What it is, is he doesn't carry a debit card or anything with him so every week I give him money for the week to use as he pleases. Its really for gas/drinks, snacks at work/ his golf league. He used to get $80, but now its $60, cause he is quitting smoking and I take the extra 20 and put it in a fund for his "reward" for quitting ( his mussel loader). That way just works best for us. Before I used to do that he was using a ridiculous amount of money each week,, this way it keeps him in check cause he can look and see what he has left.

Today is pay day for me, so I should get my cash. And my goal is to figure out how to stretch it to get the things we need.

No spend Day 1

Well I did it. I didn't spend any money. This is harder than I thought. I shoulda did like Shannon is gonna do and went to the store one last time. But since I didn't have any cash, I didn't feel like it was fair for me to do that. Like I said yesterday, I'm outta coffee, then i realized last night that BBQ pizza is on the menu tonight, and I'm outta BBQ sauce and pizza sauce. But I am going to be resourceful and try to make up my own homemade sauce to go on it tonight, cause my family is really looking forward to eating it, I don't want to just make something else. Then Ben yesterday is like when are you going to the store, I need razors and shaving cream! Ugh......that means outta my measly $45.00 this week those things will have to come out of it,,, and they arnt cheap! Due to me having a little money in the bank it would be so easy for me just to run out and swipe that debit card,,,,, BUT......that would be cheating, and I'm not gonna do that! I will say though that I should have waited til Friday to start this challenge when I actually had some cash.

OH, one more thing,, on the way to the soccer game Ben wanted to know if we could get coffeefrom the gas station,, I told him not outta my money,,, so he used his own to buy it. But that doesn't count as spending because it came outta his work money.

Do you want to join me?

I was thinking today and if anyone wants to join me on my little no spend journey you totally should! You could kind of figure out how to make it work for you and then post on your blog about it,, or just keep us informed and updated in my comments section. I think it would be fun, and knowing I'm not going at it alone would be kinda neat too.

I am considering today the first day of my challenge, and since I have no cash I shouldn't be spending any money until Friday when I get paid. I let Bennie in on our little fun experiment and he of course has his doubts and says its not possible. All the more reason for me to make it work right. I also told the kids so they could be on board to.

My first big challenge is that I am out of coffee right now,,, I have instant but not regular :( I need my coffee in the morning,, but I am gonna be strong and just drink the instant until Friday, then I will buy the real stuff.

My own no spend challenge

I've been doing a little research on other blogs, and debating on whether or not to attempt this or even tell everyone about it. But alas.... I have decided to publish to the world my life yet again! :) And I have kind of made my own set of rules for it.

In a desperate attempt to first rebuild my saving to where it is suppose to be, I need to put $225.00 in there for at least the next 6 months...ugh,,, I didntrealize it was that many. Okay, well if any extra money comes up, it will join in the saving account, so hopefully this will go a little faster!! That is really the only extra we have to put in there after bills. This is all coming from Ben's paycheck. We will use my very little babysitting money to live on. Unfortunately since one of my day care kids parents lost her job I am down to only 2.... Bennie get all of the ones pay coming in for his weekly expenses. That leaves me with the other one to work with. She is not here full time, and it varies on the days. On average, due to not being full time, I only get around 45 dollars from her. So I am really gonna gave to stretch that for groceries and such.

Lord willing there wont be any crazy unexpected things come up and I will be able to make this work. I have decided that my kids have a sufficient amount of summer clothes to get them through, and Ben and I can survive on what we have. I do have to buy a dress for my sisters wedding. I am going this Friday to find one,, I have the money already set out in my account now, so this wont count.

This seems very drastic but its my own fault for not being more tight with our money these last couple of month. So I will try to have as many no spend days as possible and the money I do spend will come out of the babysitting income.... The goal is for nothing to leave the bank unless it is going for a bill. I will report on here when and what I spend to help keep me accountable. I am slowly learning that things will work out. It might not happen the way we think it will, but to just be patient and try my hardest and God will led the way and not let me drown. challenge