Thursday, August 26, 2010

Struggling

I'm feeling very sad and alone. How is that possible really?? To feel all alone when your in a house full of people? When your laying in bed beside the one you've been with for 12 years? I feel like they are all against me. Well everyone but the 2 year old,, she loves me, and when she misbehaves I know its just cause she's 2. They say I'm always complaining about something, never happy(HA, I hate to say it but I'm not the one that's never happy!). Maybe I am in the wrong,, maybe I should just let the kids do whatever they want. Treat each other like crap. Mouth off to anyone and everyone including me. Sit back and watch the one I love poison his own body and drink away the pain every single night. Yeah,,,,, I guess I should just let them be.


Obviously I can't do that right? All I want is for our family to be a happy healthy loving family. I am trying so hard to teach my children right now about why its important to do certain things and why we need to treat each other with kindness and respect. I want them to understand that we are family and need to stand with each other,,,not against.

I don't know what to do. I'm so worn down from hearing that I need to just let things be and not worry about it. How much do I take? How long do I sit and watch as my family slowly disintegrates? Either way something bad is gonna happen.

3 comments:

momto9 said...

oh no! I have no words of advice but just wanted you to know that at least here you were heard!

Dawn said...

I'm not sure exactly what your talking about but I know that things have been bothering you lately and I want you to know that I am always here if you need to talk. I know that your not one to go into great detail about the things that are bothering you and your always worried about what other people might think, but I'm worried about you. I hope everything is ok and just know that I'm here. I love you!

Steph B. said...

:( I am sorry you are feeling this way! I know I am busy and am in and out usually but am there if you need something!

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