In reading through my last few post I notice I sound pretty darn happy. Happy, healthy, fit and active. What a great life I must have. Lol. No really my life is just fine but it is defiantly not all those things. Honestly in the last 4 days I have had two major meltdowns where I was bawling and feeling life life couldn't get much worse. I also get teary eyed quite often during my workouts. Sounds silly doesn't it? I don't know what it is but sometimes it just seems so hard and makes me wonder if I will ever look like what I want to look like. Idk but i keep pushing right through the tears because the only way I will ever find out is if I keep on going.
Ben and I the opposite of a perfect relationship, but we try, we push through all these roadblocks life keeps throwing at us. Some days I wonder why did I ever marry this man, he is so unlike me, but i did marry him and I had 3 kids with him. He provides the best he can for me and them. He tries. He would give me the moon if he was able so I have to keep looking past faults.
My kids, I love them so much. I would die for them. They are great, get great grades, but they arnt perfect either. They are just like any other kid. They are mouthy, tend to not listen. Gary keeps disobeying like crazy! For two years Ive told the kid do not get breakfast at school. I feed him here. I cant afford to buy school breakfasts. He continues to eat breakfast at school every chance he gets. SMH. I don't get it. We punish him. He still does it. I told him dont download anything on the ipod without asking me first. He still downloads stuff. We know cuz whatever he downloads automatically goes to Ben's phone. He knew this. But still did it anyways!!! I just dont get it!
I could go on and on with the woes thats is me, but I wont. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't giving anyone the wrong impression. Actually I dont even know if anyone is reading this!
I just keep going, doing the best I can with what I have. Im reading this book right now. Hoping I can learn a thing or two.