Friday night

Right now I'm sitting on the couch,, snuggling with Miss Emma, watching Beauty and the Beast for the millionth time. :)   Gary is in his room,, Jess is out at a basketball game.   Ben's at work,, Friday nights arnt to exciting around here since he's been on 2nd shift.  Sometimes it gets me down but I know he doesn't have a choice in the matter of working and this is just the way it is.  I'm actually getting quite used to him being gone in the evenings now.  It's hard and a lot of days I feel like a single mom but I know I'm not and I'm thankful he has a job.  I mentioned to him today about me feeling like I have no friends,, he says he should be all I need.   I dont think he gets that sometimes guys just don't get it.  Most of the time when I tell him things I worry about he just tells me not to,, its not my life just don't worry about it(his words).. Its not that easy for me.  Although there is some truth to what he says, I have a caring heart so naturally I think of others and hurt when others are hurting.    I worry about others and I just can't help it.  I wish I could shut it off sometimes.   Oh well...

on a different note,, I've been making blankets for lots of people.  They are the new sew fleece tie blankets and they are so cute and warm!  I've made on for each kid,, myself,, I'm making one for my 2 babysitting kids, and making one for a surprise for Bennie!  When I was buying the fabric I asked him if he wanted one and he said no,, but every since I've been making them he's been stealing mine(which is giraffe print on one side and hot pink on the other. lol),, plus I guess he's said to Jess that he now wishes he would have had me make him one so I went out and bought him some fabric and made him one.. Its wrapped up under the tree, I hope he likes it.. His is camo,,,he will look much better in that one than my pink one. Hahaha

9 more days til Christmas!  I can't wait to see everyones faces when they open there presents!

Where did they all go?

At what point in life do you give up on a friendship???  I used to have friends,, I used to have people who I could talk to about stuff in my life and they would talk to me about stuff in their lives.  Somewhere along the lines those friendships have faded.  I honestly dont' get why but whatever,, I know that with kids life gets crazy and we are all busy.  What bothers me is just being blatantly ignored,, when I do try to make contact with people most don't even respond.   I really think I am a nice person,, easy to talk to,, not quick to judge... I just don't get it!     I dont even have a good relationship with my sisters,,,,  we love each other and talk when we see each other but they dont confide in me.. They don't come to me for advice about anything in their lives,, and I'm the older sister!   It makes me sad because I want a close relationship with them.   I just dont get it.  

I'm just lonely and sad that I dont have anyone anymore.   I have my husband who I cant talk about everything with, and my oldest daughter who I shouldnt' talk about everything with.   :(   I just don't understand where I went wrong and it bums me out.   I know its not normal because I hear about others who have lunch dates, dinner dates,, actually do things with other people.    I sound like a big whiny mess but I just had to get this out its driving me crazy!

Anxiously awaiting

Thought I'd sit down for a quick break and blog.  I've been doing a bit of decluttering today.  Cleaned off my counter top to make room for my new mixer!  It hasn't arrived yet but it is supposed to come today and I'm still hopeful.  I think I'll make some blueberry muffins tonight to break it in,, and tomorrow I'm going to try it out for making my pizza dough!  Its a little silly how excited I am for it to arrive. 
It has been so fun lately having packages delivered to our door....Christmas presents for the kids I've been ordering online.  I'm getting very excited about Christmas and seeing there faces light up up with joy while opening their presents. :)   I can't wait!
The three little girls here right now are playing nicely,, the only problem is they are dragging things all over the house that I've been cleaning all day..   Emma just walked in here to the living room and said she was going to get married to her daddy.  :)  So cute!