The blues

I'm feeling so down lately.  I feel like things are spinning out of control.  Nothing major huge has happened its just little things that seem to be piling up and bringing me down.  Issues with money,, its getting very tight, doctor bills are coming in from when I had to have a CT scan a couple months back, bank accounts are lower than they have been in a long long time.  I'm now not able to be so picky about the food I am purchasing due to the fact that I just can not afford to buy what I have been right now.  That makes me feel bad,, it ws easier before when I didnt know all the things that I do now.  Our days are pretty crazy now that its summer and all the kids are home from school,, it can get pretty loud and sometimes I feel like I'm leading a three ring circus most days. LOL,, I love em all though.   I also have been feeling like one of my kids is trying to grow up way to fast,, I decided that I have to lay the law down now and had a discussion with her tonight,, now I'm sure she hates me.  I sometimes wish phones and computers were never invented,, life as far as kids go would be so much easier I think.. We didnt have problems until the cell phone was bought for her and facebook came into play. She doesnt understand why I don't want her to do certain things, she thinks its just me being mean.  I dont' want her to fall down the wrong path, and I'm the one that is supposed to help show her the right way right?  I'm scared if I sit back and dont do anything now what will become later of things.    Being a parent is so hard., I thought it was supposed to get eaiser as they got older. :(  
I'm just so sad,, this all probally sounds like a jumbled mess but I had to just get it out there. 

I'm really hoping for a good week, and hoping that everything works out and that my kids dont hate me for trying to be a good parent.  ugh...

Bathroom pics

So after much hard work we're finally finished in the bathroom.  I'm very happy with the results, the only thing that bothers me about it is even though Ben patched the old holes we apparently needed to work at it a little harder because after painting you can still see ever spot,and every time I look at it it bugs me,, but not enough to start over now so that is how it will be until we repaint again which hopefully wont be until were ready to move out. :)  Here you can see the sink with the updated faucet.   I picked out the dark brass,, It looks a lot fancier than the standered silver hot cold one that was on before. I love it.
 We also replaced all the towel holders, toilet paper holders and shower curtain rod with matching brass and theres a new curtain and some matching towels. :)

 Ben replaced the worn out floor for me. I'm really happy with it

 There are a few spots on the floor that look dirty,,but its not, thats how its supposed to look.LOL  guess thats a good thing, it will help hide any actual dirt spots that might show up. :) 

Actually I doubt there will be any dirty spots,  I'm so happy with it it gives me a lot of incentive to keep it nice and shiny!  Now I'm so excited to redo the kitchen but that will have to wait a little while so we can save up some more cash.   After we finally got done I decided to make the hubby happy and we went to the lake to fish for a little bit.  It was really fun,, we didn't catch much but it was nice to sit and relax.   Then we came home and bbq'ed and ate outside.  Emma loves to be outside.  AS soon as she wakes up she wants to go outside and play,, she doesn't understand that mommy has inside work to do to.  Poor thing,,, now that the big kids are out of school though they can help watch her out there in the fenced in yard when I cant be out there.   I love summer and all that comes with it!

Tennesse trip

Well were back from Tennessee.   We had a amazing time there!  It truly is beautiful, the mountains, the rolling hills, very peaceful too.  Our cabin we rented was great!  Plenty of room for us,, it had 3 bathrooms, 2 king sized beds, a jacuzzi tub, a hot tub, 4 decks outside!
We kept pretty busy while we were there, here we are at the welcome center in the smokey mountains.

 Then we went to hike up the hill to Laural Falls,,, on the way up we saw a bear!!!  It was so cool, it was hard to get a good picture of it but here you can see it walking away from us(much better than too us I think, LOL). 

 And here is the beautiful waterfall.

 We let the kids take there shoes off and wade in it a little bit.

 Then we went to Ripley's Believe it or not Museum,, here is me and the kids in a really big chair.  They had some really weird things there and Emma was a little scared a few times but overall I think everyone enjoyed it.

 Then back to our cabin,, we turned the heat down a little and let Emma "swim" in the hot tub,, she loved it.

 Jess and I. :)

 The game room was really cool there,, everyone enjoyed it.  Gary asked to go in there first every time we got back to the cabin. 

 Sunday we made the steep hike up to Clingmans dome,, it is over 6500 feet tall, the highest mountain in the Smokies.  We drove most of the way up then its a three quarter mile hike up to the top dome,,,let me tell you what,,,,I am outta shape!  It was tough and I was huffing and puffing the whole way because it is so steep.  It was well worth it though,, when your at the top you can see either 3 or 4 different states,, your also higher than some of the clouds,, it was really cool!

 This was at Ripley's aquarium,, that was really fun for the kids.

It was such a great trip, and none of us were ready to go home!  It's so nice to get out and away from normal everyday life.  I am so thankful that we are able to do things like this!  If you want it bad enough I believe you can make it happen.  We defiantly don't have a lot of money but we made it work for us.  We have another thing to look forward to now,,, in a week and a half Bennies mom will be coming out to spend the week with us from California!!  Its been a year since we've seen her and we cant wait!!

Crazy busy day

Oh what a day,,, and its not over yet. :)    This morning I got up as usual knowing I had lots of work to do....you see,,, I'm a bit of a procrastinator and still hadn't packed for our trip that were leaving for tomorrow morning.  Sometimes I think I work better under pressure, plus I knew that its really not that big of a deal to pack,, especially since this vacation is only gonna be for 4 days and our last one was for 14,,,easy peasy.  Anyhow,,, got up, made the coffee, let babysitting kids come in, took a shower, woke up my kids,, all the normal stuff.  When I woke up Gary(the 10 yr old) he got dressed then came out and said he had a rash,,, he lifted his shirt and from his neck to his waist line was covered in a rash,,,so much that his sides were completely red and covered in the bumps and hes chest and back were all dotted up....  OK I said to myself,, my kids seem to get rashes all the time, no biggy,,,but this one did seem pretty bad.  I called my mom at work to see what she thought and to see if she thought I should send him to school, (yes even though I'm 30 years old and have been a mother for 12 years I still call my mommy and ask for advice quiet often,,,usually she's right on, she works in a hospital and had 3 kids of her own).  Anyways I told her he had a rash and what it looked like and she started freaking out,, said do not take him to school and get him to the doc right away!  I guess measles have been going around and what I described to her sounded a lot like those same symptoms.  He's been vaccinated for all that stuff but she said to take him in anyways....  that was the point I started getting really worried.  Our trip we are supposed to go on is non refundable and already paid for and we can not be taking  a kid with the measles through 3 states!!!    Luckily Bennie had decided to stay up and not sleep today so he would be able to sleep tonight and drive tomorrow so he took him in to the doc for me.   My stomach was in knots awaiting the phone call,,,,,,,,   finally he called and said it was not measles and was probably just a allergic reaction to something.  Whew!!!!  They put him on prednizone and told us to give him Zerteck until the rash goes away and he was fine to go back to school and to Tennessee!!! Boy was that good news.  
So the rest of the day I've been packing and cleaning and getting all our readies together.  Going pretty smooth so far.  WE have a soccer game tonight then when we get home will load up the car and we'll be taking off bright and early in the morning.   So I'll be back on Tuesday hopefully with lots of fun pictures.  Have a great Memorial Day weekend. 

Backyard fun

It's a beautiful day outside today, the sun is shining, its 72 degrees outside right now.  We had to get outside.  Here is a pciture of my lovely new fence and garden.

 I can not wait to see what comes of it this year.  I have high hopes,, we have over 20 pepper plants, 4 cabbage, 4 broccoli, cucumbers and green beans to grow up the fence you see in the middle there.  Also green onions, kohlrabi, radishes, carrots, lettuce, garlic, tomatoes, basil, cilantro, and chives!  I'm hoping we get a good harvest!

The girls have been having a fun time this morning.  They found a toad!  They've been playing with it and making a temporary home for it,, here you see them all huddled around the bucket with the toad in it.

 I found another use for our gazebo we put up,,, it makes a lovely clothesline. LOL

 and here is my real clothes line. 

I just love sitting in my backyard!  It can feel so peaceful,,(as long as the neighbors poodles arnt out barking at us and driving me crazy!)

Karaoke and cookout

Another fabulous weekend under our belts!  Saturday morning the kids had a soccer game and both did awesome!  Then later in the day we all went to my youngest sister's house and had a cookout!  Her husband made some yummy rotisserie chicken on the grill and we had mashed potatoes and green beans!  They're neighbor has a basket ball court in their backyard and the kids got to play on that which they really enjoyed.  Then we sang karaoke and had a little campfire,,the kids wanted smores but they're was no graham crackers so they had chocolate marshmallow and chocolate. LOL  a sugary dream. :)  It was really fun to just hang out and visit with them.  We came home with lots of mosquito bites though,,Emma looks like she took a bath in them, her poor little face is covered in bites.
Sunday we were pretty tired so we just hung out at the house.  I ran to my moms real fast to pick up a couple of suitcases since we will be leaving on Friday for Tennessee!!!  I'm so excited to hang out at the cabin and relax.  Gary is really hoping to see a bear since we'll be up in the mountains.   I've got lots to do this week to get ready.  Still need to get that camera card,, I really want to post some pics of my garden.

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Procrastinating

Do you ever feel like you are being torn in a million different directions?  I've been feeling like that lately.  There is so much I need to be doing right now,,, but here I sit blogging. LOL   I think sometimes people thing that when you don't work outside the home life is so much easier.... It's not!  Especially when you run a business in your home,, and double when that business involves little kids that love to run around and make messes. :)   I love my job and I love the kids that are here, I wouldn't trade it for anything but it comes with lots of work and cleaning because I believe in letting the kids play and not constantly nagging them about not making messes.  What we need to work on is teaching them how to clean up their messes. :)   
I've said before that laundry is my favorite household chore......well its not anymore.  Even though Im constantly doing it it never seems to get done!  Especially when I have a little girl that seems to have accidents every single day during nap time and kids that change their clothes 50 times a day.  OH and the latest thing around here is the little girls have been playing "Florida resort".  Over Christmas break we went to Florida, Emma has not forgotten about it and now every single day she plays Florida and finds a bag and "packs", Packing includes taking all the clothes out of her drawer and shoving them in the bag then toting it around the house getting in the pretend car and driving to Florida.  It is actually very cute and I love seeing them use their imaginations but the dragging the clothes out every single day is getting quite old.  When I try to put the clothes away she screams and tells me thats her Florida clothes. 
We are actually leaving for Tennessee next Friday for a little vacation so I have a feeling Florida resort will turn into Tennessee cabin after we get back. :)  I've got lots of work to do before we leave for TN,, I haven't even started thinking about packing yet and then theres getting the house all sparkly before we leave,, I like to come back to a clean house after time away. When we get back the kids will only have one week of school left then they will be on summer break!  Yay for them!   Let the craziness begin. :)  
The other thing I've been struggling with is this food journey I'm on.  I've mentioned before that we are trying to eat healthier and real foods,, not the processed stuff.  We still had some snacky type stuff and the kids have been eating that but now we are pretty much out of it all.  So its up to me to make everything homemade.  That takes a lot more work,, I feel like I spend so much more time now in the kitchen cooking and then cleaning up.  But I guess its worth it for our health.  

Whew,,,, I hope you all don't think this was a big whiny complaining post.   I can honestly say I've been so happy with my life lately.  I feel so blessed with my kids and husband.  He and I have been getting along beautifully lately!  I just feel like there are not enough hours in the day. :)  Now its off to work.